Although I am not necessarily a fan of New Years Resolutions, I do like to set myself personal goals. I set myself one overarching goal for the year of 2014: to create happiness. This did not involve going out and doing things I thought would make me happy, but rather bringing my focus and attention towards what I was already doing and finding the positives. When you live with chronic illness it can be very easy to fall into a negative mindset. It is only human nature to remember the negative events in life more prominently than the positives or to let the negative outweigh the positive. I set out to change that in 2014. 2014 was going to be the year where my illness was pushed to the back on my mind and I would stop wishing for the things I couldn’t or didn’t have. Instead I would become grateful for what I did have and for all the things I was able to achieve.
To achieve my over-arching goal, I set myself smaller goals. The main one was my ‘2014 Book of Happiness’. Each day, I set aside 5 minutes to jot down anything that made me happy that day. In the very beginning, this was actually quite a difficult task. I had to consciously think about it and sometimes I found it hard to even think of one thing to write down. I felt like I was writing down complete nonsense some days as I would write down the smallest and most trivial things. However, this was definitely worth doing as it effectively began to train my brain into looking for the positives in life. Soon, it became much easier to find the positives and I didn’t have to think so much. Not only that, but I began to feel happier in myself! I have to confess, I stopped writing so much down. I no longer felt the need to write down all of the little things, which I viewed as a very positive thing. I summed up each month right here on my blog to help keep me on track. Here is a review of my year:
January
The year began on a real positive. The 1st of January 2014 marked the end of an amazing holiday to Iceland with friends. We laughed, explored and created memories that will stay with me forever. We rode Icelandic horses, nearly got blown into the crater Kerið, sat in a hot tub in the snow, saw breathtaking sights like Gulfoss and Skógafoss and took in the New Year in Reykjavík. As I stood underneath the aurora borealis on January 1st, I felt incredibly lucky to have such great friends and my amazing husband in my life.
Iceland was also the first time I properly used a DSLR camera. My husband purchased me a canon DSLR for my Christmas and I had great fun in Iceland taking photographs- I literally took hundreds! This would be the start of a new passion for me and I threw myself into learning more about photography. Ross and I visited Anstruther harbour and Aberdour Castle so that I could put some of the things I learned into practise.
January also saw us re-arrange our living room furniture to make way for a projector. Although this seems really insignificant, it would mark the start of a new tradition- NFL Sundays! I used to really dread Sundays. Weekends were just not long enough to regain the energy needed for the week ahead. NFL Sundays really helped me to change that negative mindset. I started looking forward to Sundays instead of dreading them. My friends descend on my house for a night of good banter, food and football. The projector also made way for some great movie nights and I particularly enjoyed watching The Blind Side this month.
February
I may have travelled all the way to Iceland to see the Northern Lights but I was also lucky enough to see them right at home in February. I became just a little bit obsessed with checking the aurora forecast and one night in February I happened to look before going to bed and saw that the forecast was really good. I told my husband we had to get in the car and drive out of town to see if the Northern lights were visible. I think Ross thought I was mad but he always tends to go along with my craziness. Good job too as we got a glimpse of the beautiful aurora just half an hour later.
In February, we also had our house re-painted. This might seem insignificant but it was really important to me. Our house was a new build and the inside was all painted magnolia. Now, I don’t have anything against magnolia other than it’s not for me. It actually drove me a little bit crazy, so having the house repainted brought a lot of peace and happiness. It’s funny how even something as silly as the colour on the walls can bring about stress.
The projector got put to good use this month, watching more movies (my favourites being ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ and ‘Her’) and the Super Bowl. I actually made it out quite a bit this month too. Ross and I went to see the stage show ‘War Horse’, which is one of the best shows I have ever seen. I first saw it at the West End in London and the Edinburgh show did not disappoint. I also had a fun evening with my Mum in Edinburgh. We did a little bit of shopping, ate pizza and then sang the night away along to the musical ‘Tonight’s The Night’. We both love Rod Stewart!
I also went to Knockhill racing circuit and completed a skill control course, which I was really nervous about but it was a lot of fun! I re-learned emergency stops (and also what it was like to stop without ABS breaks eek!!) and learned how to control a skidding car. It gave me more confidence for driving in winter conditions.
March
I continued to enjoy photography this month and went out to take photographs at my local parks. I also put my photography skills to good use by creating menus and a video for my Dad’s business. I wouldn’t accept payment for helping my Dad out and so he and my mum bought me some furniture he knew I had my eye on. Thank you!!!
March was the first time I was ever off work sick due to fibro and hindsight now tells me this was the beginning of future health problems. It’s funny how you don’t realise these things at the time. I had used annual leave to have some chill out days due to my fibro flaring up this month and also ended up taking some sick days. Despite these challenges, I did manage to do quite a few things! It was my husband’s birthday and we celebrated by staying at the Sheraton Hotel and having a night out with friends in Edinburgh. I remember not feeling too great but this was remedied the next say by spending a few hours in the amazing One Spa.
Ross and I also took a trip to Glasgow and had an enjoyable tea at Frankie & Benny’s and then laughed the night away watching my favourite comedian Russell Howard at the SSE Hydro. A great night!
April
I furthered my photography education this month by completing an online photography course. I also discovered a website called ‘Creative Live’ and enjoyed watching photography workshops. Ross and I took trips to Balmerino Abbey, St Andrews and South Queensferry to take photographs.
My friend moved into her new flat, which is amazing, and we had a cocktail party to celebrate. April also saw our first BBQ of the year and it was great night with some of my favourite people, good food and a lot of laughter.
May
May was tough. My fibro was kicking my ass and I was struggling with it. I remember I attended a dog training seminar the middle weekend in May and at the end of it, when I got home, I just cried my eyes out as I had found it so difficult to make it through the weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I had enjoyed it but I was beginning to realise I was fighting a losing battle with fibro. I think I had just worn myself out.
I also had a weekend away in May with friends in the Highlands of Scotland. We visited Smoo Cave in Durness, Chanonry Point to see the bottlenose dolphins and Cromarty. We ate good food, played board games and it truly was a great trip.
This month, we also set up our first NFL Fantasy Football League and also discovered the TV show ‘The League’ on Netflix- I love this show!
But the most exciting thing that happened this month was booking our trip to California!
June
June saw me take a trip away to the Isle of Mull with work. This was just simply brilliant!! Amazing dog, amazing owner and I left feeling so happy that I had been part of creating this wonderful partnership.
I took some time out with my Mum this month and we had a spa day at the Scotsman Hotel in Edinburgh. I had a hot stone massage and then we spent some time chilling in the jacuzzi and swimming pool. Afterwards, we had some lunch at M&S and then did a little bit of shopping before taking the train home.
I continued to get out and about with my camera this month and photographed The Kelpies. I also took some portraits of my friend Stephen Kavanagh to be shown alongside his art exhibition. I was questioning my enjoyment of blogging about chronic illness at this point and also set up my photography blog.
This month, I also discovered ‘Orange is the New Black’ and watched both seasons with my husband pretty much back-to-back.
July
Without a doubt July was one of the toughest month’s I had ever experienced with fibromyalgia. It well and truly kicked my ass and I was signed off work for the next 7 weeks! Despite this I still achieved many things this month. Trying to regain some strength, I went out with my camera and photographed The KDY Skate Comp 2014 and The Bruce Festival. Both of these events were so fun to photograph. I also visited St Monans and photographed my husband’s racing car experience at Knockhill.
As I was in bed a lot of time due to fibro, I discovered some great new TV shows this month- season 1 of American Horror Story and also The Killing. We also had another BBQ this month and had a really fun night with our NFL Fantasy Football draft. Franchise Bowl was born!
August
August saw me regain some of my strength back. The first part of the month was spent mostly chilling out. We watched all of the NFL pre-season games and celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary in a very low-key fashion with an Indian take-away meal.
The end of the month saw Ross and I take a dream trip to California. I have not yet blogged about this here as I focussed my energy on my photography blog but I plan to write about it here one day. We arrived in LA and drove up the Pacific Coast Highway to Monterrey. We went on a whale watching trip at Moss Landing and then drove up to Santa Clara. I experienced my very first NFL game at the new Levi’s stadium as the 49ers took on the chargers in the preseason and won (go niners!).
I visited San Francisco and saw Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge, the cable cars and took in the sights of the Castro and China Town. I experienced my first baseball game and we also took a trip out to Muir Woods. After a week in beautiful San Francisco, we drove back down the PCH to Malibu and ate dinner at Geoffry’s. We then stayed in a wonderful apartment in high up in the Hollywood Hills.
September
The first week of September was spent in LA. We visited the Getty Center, Grittith Observatory, Venice Beach, Beverly Hills and Six Flags Magic Mountain. Unfortunately, this was a bit of a mistake as I wasn’t well enough to enjoy such a full on theme park and could hardly walk after going on 5 roller coasters (they were awesome though). However, I did manage to have a wonderful day at Disneyland in Anaheim with the help of an electric scooter.
When I got back from holiday I also returned to work after being absent for 7 weeks.
October
October is one of my favourite months of the year. I love autumn and the colours of the trees at this time of the year. I also received my first ever Glitterati box, which would go on to become my little bit of happiness that I look forward to receiving through the post each month.
I went to my first gig in a long time this month. I saw the brilliant Grant Nicholas at Cabaret Voltaire in Edinburgh. I was glad to get there early and realise there were seats so I was able to get a good view of the stage and enjoy the gig while being comfortable and not exhausting myself. Afterwards, as we were leaving, I even bumped into Grant and had a total fan girl moment as I shook his hand. My husband said my face was hilariously happy! I felt like my teenage self emerged in that moment haha. So-not-cool!
Unfortunately, my health took another turn for the worse and I was floored with a big fibro flare. I was signed off work yet again. Despite this, I managed to visit the Enchanted Forest for my birthday, which was amazing. I also celebrated my birthday with a family BBQ (yes a BBQ in October in Scotland!) and with friends on NFL Sunday. I got a fab Ray Lewis Ravens jersey! I also had a ‘fuck it!’ moment and started the process of dying my hair purple this month. Thanks mum!
Being in a flare meant much of my time was spent in bed or on the sofa so I also had marathon sessions of watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
November
I finally began to put my health first in November and dropped the guilt and stress of missing work. I realised that absolutely nothing is more important than your own health. It was in November that I first read ‘Suffered Long Enough’ and began an overhaul of my health regime.
I had a bit of luck come my way this month and won a £50 F&F clothing voucher on Twitter. I spent this rather wisely on Black Friday and got £80 worth of clothes for the grand sum of £10- win! My husband also received a gift through the post in the form of a £50 Odeon voucher from the Two Fairies on Twitter, who turned out to be Marks & Spencers.
I set up a great Facebook group this month called Butterflies & Hurricanes. I set this up with some girls I met through the Glitterati Facebook group and was quickly joined by some great people from Twitter. It’s a wonderful group of amazing people who have helped me so much.
As I didn’t get out and about much this month, I purchased some polymer clay and began experimenting with making jewellery, which was fun.
December
In December, I focussed mostly on my health and trying to regain my strength. I was super organised for Christmas this year and began my shopping early. I was also involved in a couple of secret Santas this year, which were lots of fun to do. Ross and I hosted Christmas, which was a great but tiring day. I was so lucky to receive many great gifts including a sewing machine, jewellery, clothes, candles and many more wonderful things.
I managed to go out and meet up with friends from work for a coffee after Christmas, which was great. It was so nice to be out and to catch up with them. It was a bit of a milestone as I wouldn’t have previously felt up to doing this.
NFL Sunday’s continued this month and I was so happy that the Ravens made the play-off’s this year! Go Ravens!
The year finished on a positive as I made it round to my friend’s flat for a quiet night with friends. We walked down to the beach at midnight and watched the fireworks across the Firth of Forth in Edinburgh.
2014 has undoubtedly been challenging. But looking back I have also achieved so much! Despite my poor health, I am in a really good place and feel really positive and hopeful for 2015. Happy New Year!
