If you have been following this blog you will know that I am a huge advocate for positivity. One thing I want to point out to you though is that positivity does not automatically equate to happiness. I think this is the big problem a lot of people have with the ‘positivity crowd’. Someone might try their damned hardest to see life differently and have a positive outlook but even after all that effort they may not feel any different. Sure, changing how you see the world and practising gratitude will help you learn to appreciate all the small achievements you make and the little things in life that are often overlooked. This of course makes life more enjoyable but, although enjoyment is correlated with happiness, it won’t necessarily result in happiness. You might enjoy life more but deep down still feel unhappy. My belief is that if you have to consciously think in a positive manner then this is actually a coping mechanism you have employed to help you live with a chronic illness. If you are truly happy (and positivity is a natural product of happiness) then there is no effort involved. You don’t have to think about being positive, you just are.
Many people wrongly assume that being positive means that you never think negatively. This is not true. You should not let negative thoughts fester in your mind but equally you shouldn’t ignore them either. I’ve had to teach myself to stop dwelling on and over-thinking things because it just leads to me becoming miserable. When I find myself doing this I need to be able to tell myself “stop” and focus my mind elsewhere. What I have been guilty of not explaining though, is that I then need to find an appropriate way to deal with those negative emotions. Burying them deep down and then putting on a positive mask is like applying a band-aid. It’s a temporary fix.
Over the next few posts I am going to explore this concept in more detail and hopefully equip you with the tools you need to evaluate areas of your life that might be blocking you from becoming happy. What are your thoughts on happiness and positivity?
Having a positive attitude only means that we try to stop ourselves when we have negative thoughts and switch our gears. Of course, there are those who act happy on the outside but struggle greatly when they are alone. Robin Williams is a true example of this. Sometimes the biggest laughs are hiding the most unhappiness. I shared more thoughts about this on my blog last night – http://countingmyspoons.com/2014/08/hiding-pain/