I read a blog post recently that reminded me of the importance of prioritising yourself and putting your own health first. It was a very brave and honest post over on Jayne’s Little Journey’s, where Jayne talked about making the decision to resign from her job. I resonated with what Jayne had to say and I think her views and attitude are spot on. I applaud Jayne for making the right decision for her and her health. It’s not easy to put yourself first and reading this post made me question why so many of us struggle to do this, including myself.
Modern life can be so hectic and often we continue to put other people’s needs before our own, even though we are dealing with a chronic illness. Our health is sidelined, we smile and push on. I was very guilty of doing this myself and I would push on with work, my social life and keeping up with the house work. All the while I was very aware that I was struggling with my health. I guess that although I was aware of how poorly I was feeling, I was in denial that things needed to change. I told myself that I was coping. I honestly wish I could rewind the clock and tell myself to slow down and take better care of myself.
Bit by bit, cracks began to show. I stopped being able to go out with friends so often. I could no longer hide the pain I was experiencing. Slowly it progressed to the point where my evenings and weekends were simply used to recover from the stresses I was placing upon my body. My life became work and rest with not much else in between. And I felt dreadful. Really dreadful. The pain was horrible, the fatigue was difficult and I had so many neurological symptoms that appeared that I ended up being tested for MS! Despite all of this I kept going because I thought I had no option but to. I failed to take care of me.
Unlike Jayne, I did not prioritise my health. I did not put my own needs first and now I regret this. There is only so much you can push your body until it can take no more. I unfortunately learned this the hard way. Now I am trying my hardest to put the pieces back together. This is something I have been doing over the past six months and it is a slow process. However, through this process I am learning the importance of putting my own needs first. Each day is now about focusing on the decisions I can make that will help me to feel as well as possible. I only wish I had realised this sooner. I guess the saying is true. You do not appreciate what you have until it is gone. Though my health may have been far from perfect, I have lost the ability to do as much as I was previously able to do. I am now working towards getting my fitness back and I have thankfully had the help of Vital Plan these past three months. I now know that this will only be possible if I take my foot off the pedal, slow down and prioritise my own needs before everyone else’s.
Are you making yourself a priority or are there things that need to change in your life?
I find it is a mixture of being busy, getting busy and also putting everyone and everything else first. As a mother of 5 and grandmother of 2 is is easy to be in the habit of doing things for others and forgetting yourself. Only recently I have started saying NO I’m sorry I have to look after me. I know I need to say this more (I am practising) It is better than being resentful and in pain from overdoing things. I must say that chronic illness puts a different perspective on things. Glad to hear you are learning the importance of putting your needs first too and I love your idea that each day is about focusing on decisions to help you feel as well as possible
Apologies Lee, I could have sworn I replied to this comment! I can imagine it would be tough to prioritise your needs as a mum and grandmother. It’s so important to say no sometime though, as like you say you can begin to feel resentful if you are constantly in pain.
Thank you for this honest post, Donna! I, too, am in the process of learning how to put my own health needs before everything else. It’s not easy doing one hour of physical therapy exercises every night for my Hypermobility, but I know it’s the only way to prevent more injuries and get my HMS and Fibro under control. I also understand the not being able to do things that you used to do. I used to swim more than six miles a week. Now I’m lucky if I get two in. Cheers to a better future for both of us!!
Thank you Lauren. It’s hard coming to terms with the fact you can no longer do all that you used to, isn’t it? I appreciate how difficult exercise it too but also know the benefits. It’s tough getting to the point where you feel the benefit and want to keep it up. Here’s hoping! 🙂