Change Is Scary But Often Necessary

In an ideal world nothing would have to change when we fall ill– we would be able to get better and resume life as normal. Sadly, where fibromyalgia is concerned, that’s not the case. Fibromyalgia is here to stick around and wreak havoc on our bodies. In order to bring it under control, life often has to change and sometimes quite dramatically.

I think the biggest block in the road to acceptance is the denial that things have to change. Looking to my past, I certainly continued on as though nothing was wrong with me. But the cracks began to show and steadily my health deteriorated. I knew deep in my gut that I needed to change something but I failed to follow my intuition. I was scared to.

There are a few things that can hold us back from making the changes we need to in order to live well with this condition:
1) The fact that we don’t want things to change
2) Fear of the unknown
3) Pride
4) Worry that the changes won’t help
5) Concern over what others will think

When We Don’t Want Things To Change

I most definitely did not want things to change. I was following the path I wanted to in life and I didn’t want to give that up. But I was also in constant pain and exhausted. I was complaining that I was not happy with how I was feeling and life was hard– so damn hard!!

It comes down to choice I guess. We can choose to continue as we are or we can choose change in the hope that it will bring something better. I think the driving force behind my decisions in life is happiness. If I’m not happy, I am more open to change. The chances are– if you are in a lot of pain and suffer from constant exhaustion– you aren’t happy either. If you aren’t happy, why do you want things to continue as they are? Ask yourself– is the struggle worth the pay off?

If Fear Is Holding You Back

Fear is often top of the list for me when I am resisting change. The unknown is scary, there’s no getting away from that. I would (and still do) worry about what I will be able to do and achieve in life if I let go of certain things. The thing is, change is scary but it can also open your mind to new opportunities and new possibilities– ones that you may not have even considered before. What if you could go on to achieve something that you enjoy and you are passionate about, yet still be in control of your illness? If you never try, you will never know.

Pride Keeps You Standing Still

Pride is another big one that can stop you moving forward. I used to think of slowing down or giving something up as giving into my illness. Now I wish I could grab my younger self and (gently) shake some sense into her. Accepting you are ill and making the necessary changes you need to– in order to feel as well as possible– is not giving into it. It’s actually potentially liberating as it gives you more balance in your life. I used to be all or nothing– crash and burn– and now I don’t subscribe to that way of life. My priorities have changed and life is better for it. If that’s giving into fibromyalgia then I am happier for it. I am proud of who I am.

How Do You Know If Change Will Help?

But what if you make changes and they don’t help? That’s a question that can often hold us back. Well I guess I subscribe to the belief that it’s worth trying than never knowing, especially if you aren’t happy. We only live once and I am more than willing to experiment and find what does work. It’s not easy, it takes a lot of time, effort and dedication but I hope it will pay off in the end. If you aren’t happy with where you are then you can stay there or try to move forward. I say it’s a risk worth taking.

What Others Think Is Not Worth Being Concerned Over

I no longer let the thoughts of others stop me from doing what my intuition tells me I need to do. I’ve stopped putting everyone’s needs before my own and being judged says more about the person judging than it does of me. The thing is, you need to be selfish sometimes. Health needs to come first. Without health you can’t do everything else. So I’ve learned to say “no” and put my own needs first. I keep those who are supportive of me close and let anyone who isn’t go. Yes that is sad and I wish it wasn’t like that but that’s just how it has to be. I believe if I focus on me and my health right now then I will be better placed to be there for others in the future.

What are your thoughts? Is there something in your life that needs to change?